Entitled Kirk Takes a Stroll around the Ship
by Not So-so
Summary: Only to meet his embarrassment and doom.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything that isn't mine. *Professor Snape's voice*: _Ob…_ viously...

A/N: Thanks for reading. I sincerely hope this doesn't cause you to spontaneously combust, but I can make no promises that that absolutely will not occur; read at your own risk.

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Kirk was walking through the walls, like a glitchy videogame, with purpose. People turned their heads away when he walked by in his summer clothes. The Captain held his head high and mighty, just waiting for someone to question him. He passed Chekov who gazed upon Kirk as though he was his biggest hero and he stuttered a stumbled "H-hello captain."

"Ensign." Kirk said with a short nod, before continuing his stride of pride.

"G-goodbye, Captain!" he heard in the distance, as he went.

"Jim." McCoy said, tipping his new bowler hat that he started to where everywhere. Oh, Kirk wasn't dealing with that kind of disrespect!

"Excuse me, Doctor?" He asked, prompting the Doctor.

"Excuse what, Jim." McCoy said, confused.

"You. Will. Address me. By. My. Title., Doctor." Kirk said, swiftly.

McCoy scrunched his face in confusion, "What're you talkin' about, Jim?"

"Doctor. You must. Respect. My. Authoritehh."

"Why are you actin' so… I don't know… I think you're stressed, Jim, take a break." McCoy said.

"Excuse me, Doctor?" Kirk said.

McCoy mumbled something in an irritated voice before saying: "Captain." Kirk was satisfied and he left McCoy looking very annoyed.

He passed by Scotty who gave him a wave and he gave Scotty a glare, before walking on. "Anything wrong, Captain?" He heard Scotty's concerned voice as he went on his way.

"Good evening, Captain." Spock said, leaning on the white walls of Kirk's precious ship, Kirk flexed his muscles in irritation. Spock had a sassy twinkle in his eyes and one brow raised a little. Kirk would not tolerate this arrogance.

"Mr. Spock. I'm going to have to ask you to do extra duties this week. Report to Doctor McCoy for more information. Get back to work." He said authoritatively.

"Yes, Captain." Spock said, voice as calm as ever as he strode away, leaving Jim infuriated.

Jim walked away, mind white-hot with anger at Spock, when suddenly he slipped and fell head first onto the surface, the whole ground shaked… There was a banana peel on the ground, some unfinished banana had smudged all over his brand new boots and he sighed angrily. He turned quickly to Spock looking down at him, singular brow raised at the max, a ghost of a half-smile on his lips, his head tilted ever so slightly the sighed. Kirk had an urge to punch that smug face, but he couldn't help the deep embarrassment creeping through his own face.

Kirk's face turned red with embarrassment as McCoy and Scotty ran to the scene, "Jim the entire ship just shaked. Are you alright?"

"Shook." Spock corrected.

"Shut up, Spock." McCoy retorted, "Jim, are okay?"

"I- I'm fine." Kirk said, simply.

"Scotty, what happened?" McCoy asked, turning to Scotty.

"The Captain caused turbulence after slipping due to a banana peel." Spock answered for Scotty. Kirk's face was heated with embarrassment.

McCoy looked at Scotty, both brows raised so high they might fly off his forehead and a smile crept on his face and then he started laughing and Scotty was laughing too.

"What's going on?" Sulu, Uhura and Chekov came in, a look of concern on their faces.

"Jim slipped on a banana peel!" McCoy said, having to force through his laughter.

And they started laughing.

Kirk was furious with rage. And redundant because of over repeating too much. This was the most embarrassing day of his life and all he could do was glare at all the laughing faces and the condescending expression on Spock's face.

Suddenly Spock picked up the banana peel and through it at Kirk's head, causing Kirk's wig to fall off, unveiling his shiny (pokemon) bald head which was so bright that everyone died and the ship exploded into the sun and a fragment of the ship flew into the atmosphere of earth and hit Captain America in the head causing him to spontaneously combust.

 _The End_

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If you or a loved one died while reading this you may be entitled to compen… Thank you for reading.


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